woodbutcher74 Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Back in the dark ages when we were first married my wife used to get me some pretty nice things for Christmas. One such gift was a Craftsman 12" band saw. The one where the head pivots not the table. Well lately I have been having a lot of trouble with it and spending more time repairing than wood working. I mentioned possibly getting a new one and she never really said anything but I could tell she was a little hurt. How do you go about replacing a gift without having to sleep in the shop? Anybody have any similar experience and if so how did you handle it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Teach her to use it.. In all seriousness, just be honest and explain the issues. It was an awesome gift a hundred years ago and you're truly grateful that you marriage outlasted that machine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodbutcher74 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Teach her to use it.. In all seriousness, just be honest and explain the issues. It was an awesome gift a hundred years ago and you're truly grateful that you marriage outlasted that machine. That's why our marriage lasted this long. If we were both out in the shop I'm not sure if it would last much longer. And by the way it's more like 25 years ago, not a hundred. You're right I should just be honest and show her who wears the pant's and live with this saw for another 25. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jHop Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Don't get rid of it, but explain it's getting harder to find parts for the excellent and quality gift she gave you. Unless you were to spend thousands of dollars in retraining yourself to delve fully and entirely into a second career in restoration of complex parts in a needed but under-appreciated area, you will need to acquire a newer machine. It is with a heavy heart that you have decided a newer machine is cheaper and easier than continuing to remain fully invested in maintaining and restoring this wonderful gift she granted you. (Plus, you will dedicate your first three projects used on the new machine to her.) Also mentioning the difficulties you have in finding a new machine to replace this wonderful gift will help you. but nothing you can say will ever fully remove the hurt. Certainly, spending some quality time with her will help her move past this, and explaining that you are not rejecting her or her choices, but are building upon the example she set, will ease her anxiety. (And maybe giving her the card and asking her to help you find the next one.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodbutcher74 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 jHop, That's a great idea! Letting her help me pick out the replacement. She's been wanting to go to the Big Cedar Lodge in the Branson Missouri area. That's only a hop and a skip from Springfield Mo. and the Grizzly Showroom. I've kinda got my eye on a G0555X. Now I'll need to figure out how to have her pick the same one. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 I have that saw Butcher and it's been a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Eric. Posted September 1, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Tell her it's a great little saw for large scroll work but you need a bigger one to rip and resaw with. Bonus: Tell her you'd be happy to demonstrate rip and resaw techniques in the bedroom tonight if she doesn't know what that means. Two birds, one stone. No need to thank me. It's what I do. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indy Cindy Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Tell her that you remember when she got it for you and that it was the perfect gift. Tell her that it was so perfect that you use it constantly and finally wore it out. It wouldn't hurt to add that it makes you sad to have to part with it because you think of her every time you use it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krtwood Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Give her the money you get from selling it. Make sure the new one arrives while she's off spending it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikem Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 I have replaced a machine that my wife originally bought as a gift for me. In this case when I got the first tool, I was not as involved with woodworking as I am now. As I got up to speed the machine simply was not meeting my needs, and she saw the frustrations I was having with it. I bought the new machine, but kept the one she gave me for awhile. After awhile I asked her if it was okay if I sold it, and she said she was okay with it. I of course made sure I made something for her with the new machine afterwards. ;-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisphr Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 She bought you a gift you have used for 25 years. There are probably a couple incredible things that happened over that 25 year period. Get the new saw, but don't discard the old. Even better if you restore it cosmetically and display prominately in your shop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddie Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 I've gone through this with my girlfriend on many occasions years back. She had bought me many things for my shop, but the truth is you're using the tools everyday so you need to make that point clear without hurting feelings. I was afraid to hurt my girlfriends feelings, but she ended up being ok with it, realizing how specific I am about certain things. She bought me a crown dovetail saw years ago, and I have since replaced it with a lie nielsen. She bought me the wall control metal peg board set, but I'm not a huge fan of the metal or peg board, so that has since been retired from my wall. She bought me a 8" jet jointer planer, and I told her that wasn't going to work for me, so she returned it. That was a sore one but we worked through it. Fast forward to today, she will not buy something without asking me first. Btw, she buys me lie nielsen and veritas now. She also bought me the mobility kit for my laguna bandsaw, so the girl knows what the deal is now, she's on the up and up with the good tools! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post woodbutcher74 Posted September 2, 2014 Author Popular Post Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Tell her it's a great little saw for large scroll work but you need a bigger one to rip and resaw with. Bonus: Tell her you'd be happy to demonstrate rip and resaw techniques in the bedroom tonight if she doesn't know what that means. Two birds, one stone. No need to thank me. It's what I do. I think she would be pissed if I got sawdust all over the bedroom. Besides it would be almost impossible to get the saw up the stairs. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodbutcher74 Posted September 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Thanks for all the great suggestions. I'm going to try and explain the situation and hope she understands, Apparently this topic got a little out of hand as I see there has been a topic moderation and I would like to apologize if I offended anyone. Was just trying to have a little fun with a touchy situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Huh.... craftsman saws in the bedroom... not sure how this could have gotten out of control but the moderators here sure are swift... makes me wonder what I missed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddie Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Who is selecting best answer for every thread all of a sudden? No offense at all, but the post selected in this thread didn't say or reveal anything that hadn't been said throughout the thread. This was more of a conversation with no real answer to reveal, unless someone here is a wife expert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Freddie - I have wondered thr same thing. If you start a topic, there is a "mark solved" button next to every response. The OP can hit that button and that response becomes the "best answer." I just tried it with an old thread I started. I once knew a guy who was a wife expert. He would ride around on a unicorn and go bar to bar and solve all men's problems. Who is selecting best answer for every thread all of a sudden? No offense at all, but the post selected in this thread didn't say or reveal anything that hadn't been said throughout the thread. This was more of a conversation with no real answer to reveal, unless someone here is a wife expert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CessnaPilotBarry Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Buy an airplane... From then on, everything else will seem minor. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewoodwhisperer Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Thanks for all the great suggestions. I'm going to try and explain the situation and hope she understands, Apparently this topic got a little out of hand as I see there has been a topic moderation and I would like to apologize if I offended anyone. Was just trying to have a little fun with a touchy situation. For the record, I don't know of any moderation being done on this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Eric. Posted September 2, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 If you can afford to buy your own airplane, everything else is minor. Hurt feelings are easily paid off if you have the means. That sounds terrible. What a shame that it's true. I did find it hilarious that you can choose your own response as the best answer to your own question. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beechwood Chip Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 I've done that (I think) when I've posted a summary of all the responses with an illustration of the working solution. I figure the "best answer" is for people who just want to skip to the answer without reading all the discussion. Like most things in this forum, it can also mean "funniest answer" or "I wonder what this button does?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChetlovesMer Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 You may want to try this approach: Tell her you are going to take her out dancing tonight. Ask her to wear that first pair of shoes you bought her 25 years ago, you know just to bring back those old memories. Then what ever excuse she gives you for not having those shoes anymore, remember it. Next week, use the same excuse for the bandsaw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CessnaPilotBarry Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 If you can afford to buy your own airplane, everything else is minor. Hurt feelings are easily paid off if you have the means. That sounds terrible. What a shame that it's true. I'm lucky to have 25 years with someone who has no interest in jewelry, clothing, nice cars, or anything else like that... I read the original message incorrectly, and thought it was the spend that was causing the rub... A more serious suggestion. A long, long, time ago, we arrived to the same head place, that aside from maybe our wedding rings, or a few simple things that came from very special places, our other stuff is just stuff. Consider the angle of the tool being so useful, you've worn it out, or you've had it so long, it's become obsolete. It was a gift, but it was a useful gift, and you've thought of her each time you've used it. Today, you've still got each other, maybe you think she's better than ever, but the mechanical tool needs to be replaced. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodbutcher74 Posted September 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 For the record, I don't know of any moderation being done on this thread. Maybe I don't understand everything about this forum. I checked some other topics and none of them have the "Topic Moderation" listed under them. I marked the topic as Solved because I figured somebody thought it was getting out of hand and that would bring it to a halt. I should have known that was throwing gas on the fire. I agree that if someone thinks they are experts at marriage and relationships they are full of crap. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tpt life Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Topic moderation tools show up in threads you originate. If all you ever do is comment on other threads then you may never see that option (at least on mobile.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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