Eric. Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 That's right, I'm changing horses. I'm joining the rustic team for good, no looking back. My mother bought these hideous nailed-together painted pine "tables," and she asked me to replace the tops as a Christmas gift. Initially, of course, I scoffed at the idea and reminded her that I'm protected by the 1st Amendment to refuse (right to freedom of religion) and I find the whole idea totally offensive. But then she laid down a trump card by saying, "Okay then, how about building me a whole new pair that meets your standards?" Bah, fine, give me this garbage and I'll do what you want. I can comfortably say that these are the ugliest things I've ever taken part in making since I started building furniture. But I thought I'd post them anyway so it can be thrown in my face down the road when I dish crap to someone else about building rustic. I've never known a group of people who are better at catching someone in a contradiction. Can't get away with anything around here. So take this ammo and put it in your back pocket...you'll need it some day. That knot on the right one...I had to take a shower after gluing that panel together. Looks like someone left a skid mark there if you ask me. My mom loves it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Nah, they look cool! Depending on the room decor, they could fit in nicely. Reminds me of that ugly ass table that I built (and posted here). Not my style or choice but, as long as the client is happy, that's all that counts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric. Posted December 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Yeah they'll look good in her house...they'll match all the rest of the ugly crap she has. It's chock full of Crate & Barrel distressed garbage. And she'll like them and she asked for them and it was Christmas...and her birthday...she's one of the unfortunate few to share a birthday with Jesus. LOL So I couldn't really say no even though every fiber of my being resists this kind of thing. I'm not sure I could do it for money. That would make me a prostitute. Unless maybe if I was broke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estesbubba Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Should have used your cocobolo - would have made all the difference. Like Kev said they don't look all that bad. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles11we Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 If i never would have made anything ugly, i doubt i would have ever made anything beautiful 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Llama Posted December 27, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Ammo for later... HAHA! BS! You should ban yourself for allowing that to come out of your shop. I have sent a PM to the proper authorities about this obvious disregard to proper furniture making. I can only hope that you saved the pocket screws from this torture. Hell, next time you should use pallet wood! Why not stain it all grey. I expect your resignation to be on Marcs desk no later than 10 minutes ago. You are an anti-furniturite. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 1 minute ago, Llama said: Ammo for later... HAHA! BS! You should ban yourself for allowing that to come out of your shop. I have sent a PM to the proper authorities about this obvious disregard to proper furniture making. I can only hope that you saved the pocket screws from this torture. Hell, next time you should use pallet wood! Why not stain it all grey. I expect your resignation to be on Marcs desk no later than 10 minutes ago. You are an anti-furniturite. Now that's a rant.. Sorry, still spewing adult beverage from my nose! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat60 Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 I think the tops look to good compared to the rest of the table..Glad mom is happy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric. Posted December 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 You're right Mel. I'm banning myself for the next few hours as punishment. Conveniently I have somewhere I have to go. I'll be back later to beg forgiveness! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Immortan D Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Are those formica tops? LOL good job 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 3 minutes ago, Daniel. said: Are those formica tops? LOL good job Laminate over press board.. Only way you can get that kind of skid mark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llama Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Make your mom some nice bases for those after you finish your basement. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bushwacked Posted December 27, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Powermatic called.... They want their jointer back. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llama Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Kreg called, they want to sponsor you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisG-Canada Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Send me your lathe, you'll get 'better' rustic results using a drill press for future turning ? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 You can save ply scraps from the lumber yard for your future builds.. Clear some room in the shed for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Immortan D Posted December 27, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 The producers of Duck Dinasty called... they want to order 10 tables 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Janello Posted December 27, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Thanks for sharing, Eric. That's some of your finest work! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 sadly E, if you put them up on etsy next to your hall table, those will go faster and for more money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JosephThomas Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 1 hour ago, Janello said: Thanks for sharing, Eric. That's some of your finest work! Ouch. Better go ahead and ban yourself Eric. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 I can only assume that you used an AST blade to cut those tops? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaneymack Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 Beautiful work! Glad your mom loves them. Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted December 27, 2015 Report Share Posted December 27, 2015 I knew someone would chime in and not continue the garbage you were catching Eric 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tom Cancelleri Posted December 28, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted December 28, 2015 1 hour ago, TIODS said: I knew someone would chime in and not continue the garbage you were catching Eric He's just being friendly. That's the Montreal kicking in on @shaneymack. Eric, I'm torn, you made the right choice just making a new top from some master grade pine instead of building all new tables. However, now that you've contaminated your tools with pine pitch, it's time to clean all your blades in simple green as penance for your sins. Following a nice thorough cleaning, you must perform a machine tuning for good measure, to make sure all of the sins have been absolved. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat60 Posted December 28, 2015 Report Share Posted December 28, 2015 Repent Eric.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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