Popular Post BeautysBeast Posted July 18, 2016 Popular Post Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 I can't be the only one. My workshop is at my home in TN. I get down there just about every other weekend for 3 days. During this time I also have to mow the lawn, weed the front flower beds, etc. Sometimes the wife comes with, sometimes she doesn't. When she doesn't come along, I do the yard work first, and then get to work in the shop. I can work until I am exhausted, go in, eat, shower go to bed, and rinse and repeat. HOWEVER, When the wife comes with, I seem to get, "When are you going to stop" and "Are you going to be working all day?".. We have had discussions about it, and worked out a way for her to let me know when she would like me to come clean up, and spend time with her. The contradiction part is that the list of stuff she wants me to build keeps growing at a faster pace than she seems to want to allocate time for me to build. I created a monster the first time I took her to the lumber mill. She saw all the beautiful wood, and fell in love. We have a new, pretty much empty, 5 bedroom house that she wants to furnish with crafted furniture. Am I crazy thinking this is a HUGE contradiction? I love her to death, but I will be damned if I can understand her, and we have been married for 20 years. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gixxerjoe04 Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Women logic, one of the unsolved mysteries of the universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodenskye Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Somehow you need to come up with a way for her stay home so you can do all the work you want and need to do. The real trick will be getting her to believe it is her idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 My wife likes that I build things, but could care less about the difference between a plywood box and nice furniture. I appreciate that she is practical but it does frustrate her that I "turn everything into a project" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaneymack Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 You can't understand your wife? What an unusual situation! Never heard of such a thing. Sounds like she needs her own hobby ! Sent from my SM-N910W8 using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 I think your situation is unique in that your shop is at your vacation property. She might not see the point of driving for 8 hours only to see you disappear for 3 days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llama Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Leave her at home, or tell her to get a hobby. Perhaps she can spend time weeding the plants and flowers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..Kev Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Tell her to mow the lawn and do the weeding so that you can get her projects done quicker. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhighlander Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Just say " Yes, dear". Spend time with her, and appreciate that you have that time to spend. Maybe one day she'll be interested enough to work with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeautysBeast Posted July 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 OH NO, The grass will grow up around her neck before she mows it. She takes care of inside. I take care of outside. In 20 years she has never asked me to clean, or do laundry. Im not opening that Pandora's box. Telling her to stay home isn't really an option. There are certainly benefits of having her come with me. . I would love her to find a hobby. But in 20 years, I have never known her to have one, unless you count laying out in the pool. I would put in the pool sooner, but it doesn't make sense to put in the pool until we are there permanently. Maintenance is expensive. I can deal with it, just don't understand it. 5 minutes ago, wtnhighlander said: Just say " Yes, dear". Spend time with her, and appreciate that you have that time to spend. Maybe one day she'll be interested enough to work with you. This is what I am hoping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llama Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 28 minutes ago, BeautysBeast said: There are certainly benefits of having her come with me. . I think you have answered your own question. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronn W Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 2 hours ago, BeautysBeast said: Am I crazy thinking this is a HUGE contradiction? I love her to death, but I will be damned if I can understand her, and we have been married for 20 years. So after 40 years I can understand my wife twice as much. 2 x 0 = 0!! But she does do yard work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeautysBeast Posted July 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 1 hour ago, Llama said: I think you have answered your own question. Truth! Just now, Ronn W said: You So after 40 years I can understand my wife twice as much. 2 x 0 = 0!! But she does do yard work. I'd rather do the yard work than laundry and housekeeping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterDrow Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 My wife (of 16 years now) was the same in many respects until she settled (somewhat accidentally) into a hobby. She now breeds guinea pigs and travels with her other guinea pig breeding friends around the NW to attend guinea pig shows. This has allowed me to spend more time on my own hobbies (highland games and woodworking) as well. I do have to watch myself, though... I have a strong tendency to get really wrapped up in shop time and forget to make sure she's taken care of when she's not doing other things. When she's around and I need shop time, I have to set timers for myself or else I'll go for hours (made us late for a dinner reservation once... that went over well). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Immortan D Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 I woodwork in her living room and store my tools in her laundry room. So go figure. Last weekend I was depressed and just spent the whole weekend watching TV. On Sunday I went to bed earlier than usual, so she asked me why was I going to bed, I couldn't possibly be tired after doing nothing the whole weekend. Yeah, women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 4 hours ago, shaneymack said: You can't understand your wife? What an unusual situation! Never heard of such a thing. Sounds like she needs her own hobby ! Sent from my SM-N910W8 using Tapatalk ^^ This right here. I had the same situation with my wife. After our son moved out, I dropped the suggestion that she turn his room into her own hobby room/woman cave. She has taken over that bedroom and made it her own. She now paints, makes flower arrangements and whatever else she wants to do in there. It hasn't completely solved the problem, but I think that she now relates much better to my fanatical obsession with my hobby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric. Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Women - I know a guy who always says - can't understand normal thinking It's encrypted, do the math. I found a kind of peace the day I stopped trying to figure my wife out. Just roll with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Cancelleri Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Get to the point of a project where you need to sand everything before finishing. Ask her to help out with the sanding and see how much work it is to progress through all the grits. Perhaps if she sees how much work something is she'll understand that it takes time to make something quality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Dealing with women reminds me of a couple of quotes from the great Jack Nicholson in As Good as it Gets. Some of the best lines ever from Jack. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterDrow Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 9 minutes ago, Eric. said: Women - I know a guy who always says - can't understand normal thinking It's encrypted, do the math. I found a kind of peace the day I stopped trying to figure my wife out. Just roll with it. Very well stated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaneymack Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 My wife has been riding/competing/showing horses since she is 4. She makes my obsession with woodworking seem normal. She used to be at the barn probably 40 hours a week on avg pre kids. Now with 4 kids thats down to 10 hours ish. I could have bought two new Sawstops with the money we just put towards her new custom, made in France saddle. She has NOTHING to say about me spending money on tools or wood EVER. Never complains about the time I get out there either. All to say, wife with a hobby makes all the difference. Sent from my SM-N910W8 using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterDrow Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 And I would add, "wife with a hobby" that you, as a husband, support. I try to support my wife's hobbies and interests and she, in turn, supports mine. The last thing I wanted was for us to have our own things be totally separate. We may not be fully into each others' hobbies but we work to be a part of them, even if it's a small part. Helps the relationship, too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 1 minute ago, MisterDrow said: And I would add, "wife with a hobby" that you, as a husband, support. I try to support my wife's hobbies and interests and she, in turn, supports mine. The last thing I wanted was for us to have our own things be totally separate. We may not be fully into each others' hobbies but we work to be a part of them, even if it's a small part. Helps the relationship, too. The cool thing is that we have been working together on stuff for her room. We're making a new counter top for her right now, as a matter of fact. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coop Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Amazing what we'll go thru for sex and meals three times a day? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 4 minutes ago, K Cooper said: Amazing what we'll go thru for sex and meals three times a day? I'm not sure that I get even half of what you're claiming, Coop! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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