Should have planned ahead and had a WTO pool party and my house...just woodworkers and kids. We could entertain the kids with the pool, talk woodworking all day, and give the wives a day off! Three birds with one stone!
What about using table leaf pins? I used brass pins from Rockler on a sewing cabinet for my wife and they lock in really well. In my application, I added a countersunk brash washer around the female hole so that the male end wouldn't scratch the wood while you are lining them up. I would put the male end on your base and the female side on your table top