Staining Dilemma - Rough Sawn Pine & Live Edge Oak Vanity


CWK

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Hello, I'm new here!  I've been renovating an 1800's farmhouse for the last 6 months and currently working on a multitude of staining projects.   One such project is our master bath vanity, which consists of a beautiful live edge oak slab and a rough sawn reclaimed pine backsplash.   The 2 pieces of wood were raw and not the same color or species so I had my work cut out for me. Needing to try to match the tones and provide some water protection with the finish. 

I started by using Watco Danish Oil in Natural on the Oak Slab. It's now a beautiful, rich color and slightly warmer and darker than before. I've done only 1 coat and I can tell it probably needs more to get a proper protective finish, but I'm worried it will get darker with more coats, which I don't want.  What do I do?  Should I switch to a water based matte clear top coat like general finishes dead flat? 

Secondly, I stained the barn aged rough sawn pine using one coat of Minwax Weathered Oak. The lighter parts of the wood turned out nice, but the darker grey parts are almost black now and generally it looks too dark in the room. The wood was so porous it soaked up that stain really fast. I have not put a finishing coat on yet, as I'm wondering if there's another stain or product I could put on top to lighten the wood a bit first? Sanding isn't an option as I want to maintain the rough sawn finish and I doubt it would help as the color is in deep. I was reading about a white wood dye, or a white wash stain... whats the difference? And would this make it look chalky? Has anyone used Varathane's sunbleached stain over weathered oak on rough sawn pine?  Im not wanting a white wash effect but rather a natural, semi-bleached look. Can I use mineral spirits to bleach out the stain a bit? Worried I will mess the whole thing up so proceeding with extreme caution... 

When I do eventually get the color right on the rough sawn pine, what topcoat would you all suggest here? I want it to look natural/matte and unfinished but it needs to be somewhat water resistant as its the backsplash of a bathroom vanity. ]

I'll add a photo tomorrow. 

Thank you!
CWK 

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