I have a feeling that you would be 'less than satisfied' with anything that you felt like you had to compromise (quality) for, and that is just because you are who you are. so if you truly do not want to build these, or to pay a craftsman to make high quality custom cabinets, then probably your biggest challenge is just getting over your own high standards and accepting something less than...
Perhaps, and you didn't really expound on this too much, the compromise is the riftsawn white oak with no stain, but just a nice oil based finish (which will amber a little). now if that truly clashes with your decor - you mentioned you wanted dark wood - then you will likely be happier with the veneered MDF, as it will look a lot better to you than the stained oak. that is just my impression, but I am feeling three things from you: don't want to build it, don't want to pay craploads of $$ for custom work, don't want anything stained. if your only other choice is the veneered MDF, well then there it is.
I don't know enough to tell you about the durability of that choice, I would bet if veneered well it's just as water-resistant as the oak, and in my limited experience MDF is pretty tough stuff. but if you are truly worried about kids hanging on the doors, pretty sure even the wenge would be in danger...
just my 2c... if you're not gonna build it or pay for the custom job, you probably need to wrap your mind around a product that won't meet your (admittedly inflated) standards.