Methen Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 What is the my syndrome? This is something I notice a quite a while back watching the new Yankee workshop I notice that Norm could not do a show with out letting people know beyond the shadow of all doubt, That this belongs to him such as to make certain everyone knew that it was his, For example he would say I am going to use MY Hammer or MY Screw Driver and nearly all shows he did he had to make certain he got the word My in. Then I begin to notice this on a lot of other shows People cannot talk with out getting the Word (MY) in a sentence, Especially in wood working shows I mean what is it. are these people so subconscious afraid that someone is going to run up and take there hammer away they have to imply ownership to let people know it" theirs, I mean it has gotten so ridiculous people are now saying I am going to make (My Mark) What is wrong with simply saying I am going to use a hammer, what is this over whelming desire to express ownership if you sit back a re watch all your old wood working shows and pay very close attentions to all your other TV shows your begin to see what I mean, To me it is a major turn off, I get tired of listening to this (MY MY MY) To me people are acting like some little kids when there suppose to be mature adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
callyb Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 It's called narcissism... NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) actually. Not that I'm saying Norm is, I have never met the man. I'm just answering your question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Methen Posted March 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 It's called narcissism... NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) actually. Not that I'm saying Norm is, I have never met the man. I'm just answering your question. Well what ever it is called there is a lot of people that have it! in fact I dare anyone to watch any tv show ( there choice) and I bet they cant find a single tv show that does not have atleast one (My) in it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I don't think it's really odd. I use it in reference when I'm talking to someone. Like I say "my wife teaches yoga." "Hey! Could you grab my hammer over there?" Seems normal to me, but that's just my perception. ;o) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewoodwhisperer Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think this is definitely one of those things that might bother the heck out of one person, but be completely missed by another. I'm the latter, lol. I honestly don't see the use of the word "my" as a sign of narcissism. Its simply another way to address a particular object or action. Today I drove my car to my shop feels exactly the same as today I drove the car to the shop. Actually saying it non-possessive feels odd but that might be a bad example. It reminds me of folks I know who are grammar crazy. Since grammar is something they study and really enjoy, listening to everyday conversation and reading informal writing can drive them nuts. Meanwhile, no one else even notices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sac Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 Im with Vic on this... sounds normal to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Methen Posted March 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think the reason it may not bother most people is that they are not aware of it as Iam I cant even turn on the television with out having to hear it and when you hear it day after dad non stop on every channel on every show you watch it gets very old very fast it does not bother me that much when people use it in there personal life but mostly on tv. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think the reason it may not bother most people is that they are not aware of it as Iam I cant even turn on the television with out having to hear it and when you hear it day after dad non stop on every channel on every show you watch it gets very old very fast it does not bother me that much when people use it in there personal life but mostly on tv. Well, considering it's been going on since Norm and is heard on TV a lot, which you have no control over, I hope you can learn to ignore it. I'm a bit OCD, so I know how easily something can start to bug ya, especially if you start to focus on it. My wife can't stand that I chew ice. I told her to let it go, just let it go. LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhl.verona Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think Methen has a point, without being over sensitive about it. If someone is talking about his/her way of doing something, then my is fine. Most blogs are written in the first person singular. However, this (for better or worse) gives an "I'm active, you're passive" accent to the communication. When demonstrating something (like building a piece of furniture) the "next I cut..." and "using my ..." tends to enforce (somewhat subtly) this active/passive relationship. When I hear (or read) "next we cut..." and "using our..." instead, I get a better feeling of being involved in the process. I hadn't actually observed this until I read this thread. I 'enjoy' one presenter (who shall remain nameless) more than the others, but couldn't say why. Now I know - the only time he used 'my' was when giving a tour of his shop, or some favourite technique - and quite rightly so. For everything else 'we' were doing the various tasks 'together'. Perhaps something for the UTube style presenters to think about? JM2C John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think Methen has a point, without being over sensitive about it. If someone is talking about his/her way of doing something, then my is fine. Most blogs are written in the first person singular. However, this (for better or worse) gives an "I'm active, you're passive" accent to the communication. When demonstrating something (like building a piece of furniture) the "next I cut..." and "using my ..." tends to enforce (somewhat subtly) this active/passive relationship. When I hear (or read) "next we cut..." and "using our..." instead, I get a better feeling of being involved in the process. I hadn't actually observed this until I read this thread. I 'enjoy' one presenter (who shall remain nameless) more than the others, but couldn't say why. Now I know - the only time he used 'my' was when giving a tour of his shop, or some favourite technique - and quite rightly so. For everything else 'we' were doing the various tasks 'together'. Perhaps something for the UTube style presenters to think about? JM2C John That DOES make sense, John. I'm thinking back on my teachers now. I they were always using "we" and "let's do". Hmm. I would suppose on an unconscious level it would tend to be a more engaging form of speech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhl.verona Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 Sorry, couldn't resist... I would suppose on an unconscious level it would tend to be a more engaging form of speech. At that level most engagement ceases altogether. Perhaps subconscious? I'm trying not to be a jerk, honest 'guv. John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikem Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 One thing to also realize, is that we make a significant investment in our tools as well. The average hobbyist woodwork can have anywhere from $2k to nearly $10k worth of tools. The pro you can easily double, triple, even quadruple that. Anyone who makes that type of investment I believe has earned that right to say "MY" whatever. For that matter, if you put out the cash for something, it is yours and you can say 'My tool'. Most of the time it is said innocently enough, and very rarely do I see it where it has gotten out of hand. In Norms case most of the power tools in the shop where owned by Russ Morash, but I bet there was a lot that were his tools as well. I noticed with Norm, he did use 'My' often, but he also used 'Ours' and sometimes simple he said 'The table saw' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewoodwhisperer Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I am all self-conscious now. I honestly don't know what words I tend to use! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texfire Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I can see the next TWW podcast now. "Next I'm going to use my square to check for, er I mean we're going to use a square, er one would use this square? Help?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beechwood Chip Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think using "my" also encourages people to go out and buy stuff. "Next I cut the panel to length using my laser guided micro-adjusting ultra-fine super-gizmo" implies that if you want to cut a panel to length, you should use your "laser guided micro-adjusting ultra-fine super-gizmo". Not one you borrowed or rented, and not the one in the shop down the street where you can get some shop-time. Everyone should have their own tools in their own shop - emphasis on "own". As in, "I bought it, I own it, it's mine." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhl.verona Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 I am all self-conscious now. I honestly don't know what words I tend to use! Probably the right ones, judging from your popularity I think using "my" also encourages people to go out and buy stuff. "Next I cut the panel to length using my laser guided micro-adjusting ultra-fine super-gizmo" implies that if you want to cut a panel to length, you should use your "laser guided micro-adjusting ultra-fine super-gizmo". Not one you borrowed or rented, and not the one in the shop down the street where you can get some shop-time. Everyone should have their own tools in their own shop - emphasis on "own". As in, "I bought it, I own it, it's mine." So I suppose you won't lend it, then? I interpret Methen's lament in a teaching context, not just as a grammatical exercise. For someone just starting, I tend to cling to every word. To me it could sound like your laser guided micro-adjusting ultra-fine super-gizmo is the only way to cut a panel. Or perhaps a way to do it without needing any skill. As a teacher, I would be giving your opinions a high value, as I have no personal experience to be able to judge. Or I'd take a second or third opinion, though that can lead to finding two or three ways of doing something. In the end, far more than a specific tool, the skills of the person are far more important. Hence I agree with Methen, since if I bought the tool, the 'my' is possessive - just part with some money and I can say 'my' too. But that won't mean I can use it properly, or even well. Again, referring to the unnamed woodworker/presenter he (to me correctly) refers to 'the' 20" bandsaw - because I could buy one too - with 'my' modifications, and 'my' tuning tips. Those I couldn't buy in the high street. I have a ruler, had one for years. But I didn't know that any ruler could easily divide distances into halves, thirds, quarters or fifths simply by laying it diagonally on the board until you get a measurement that can easily be divided into half, a third, quarter or fifth. Guess what? Even 'my' ruler can do it. Though it could do it before too, I just didn't have the skill then in using it. John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 Sorry, couldn't resist... At that level most engagement ceases altogether. Perhaps subconscious? I'm trying not to be a jerk, honest 'guv. John It was late, John. So, UNconscious was probably how I felt at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stampy Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 The other term I notice that is used allot is "I think" Scroll through this thread and you'll be amazed how often it's used. Not criticizing anyone here. What interests me is when someone who is expressing an opinion on something, starts there response with I think, it tends to diminish there conviction of what there saying. Almost as if they are answering a question with another question. You here it in the news/politics all the time. example: Q) What is your position on the budget? A) I think that we need to do a better job with our expenditures. Instead they should show assertiveness and confidence; A) We need to do a better job with our expenditures. My wife works with autistic kids and one of her clients couldn't figure out why there were so many different words for "To" As in 2, to, too and two. Drove this poor little guy around the bend. Language and comunication is a fascinating part of our society. Great thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beechwood Chip Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 What interests me is when someone who is expressing an opinion on something, starts there response with I think, it tends to diminish there conviction of what there saying. Almost as if they are answering a question with another question. I do that intentionally. When I was younger I was very certain of everything. If someone asked a question I'd jump in with the answer, end of discussion. As I got older I learned that sometimes I wasn't right, but more importantly sometimes it was useful to continue the discussion, to see if maybe the question wasn't as simple as the person made it seem, and getting them to talk more about might lead a better understanding of the real problem. Then I got older and learned about "buy-in"; people are more emotionally invested in a decision if they took part in the discussion. So I learned to try to get a discussion going by saying "I think ....." Which implies "What do you think?" "I use my table saw for ripping." (implies "What do you use your table saw for?" which implies that you have a table saw.) "I think we should reduce spending." (implies "What do you think we should do?" which implies that your opinion matters.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtrust Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Good points made here. I never thought about the "my" thing until reading this thread. Interesting. Have to say though, 'my' personal itch is like, when people like, use a certain like, word 30 times in a like, 2 minute conversation. You know like, what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Methen Posted March 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Instead of saying I think, it would be better to say I am thinking or I am considering which gives more of the impression that you are attempting to better comprehend and understand the subject in question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 How people phrase things generally doesn't bother or affect me, simply because I assume good intentions, unless proven otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nateswoodworks Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I think I am going to type my responses on my laptop until my eye lids get heavy and then I think I am going to go to sleep in my bed and have dreams about my tools!! Nate 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapid Roger Posted March 28, 2011 Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 Good points made here. I never thought about the "my" thing until reading this thread. Interesting. Have to say though, 'my' personal itch is like, when people like, use a certain like, word 30 times in a like, 2 minute conversation. You know like, what I mean. AMEN! I agree with that. Also, next time you watch the sports report on TV, count the times you hear "Ya know". That drives me crazy because as a matter of fact, "I DON'T KNOW", say what you mean! Rog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 AMEN! I agree with that. Also, next time you watch the sports report on TV, count the times you hear "Ya know". That drives me crazy because as a matter of fact, "I DON'T KNOW", say what you mean! Rog I'm getting better, but I use "ya know" and "um" as fillers while I think through what I should've thought through before I opened my mouth. Ya know?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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